Friday, August 31, 2007

ReD CoLoR

woohoo... it's last day of the mth and it's friday! hehehe.. a cool windy friday nite. sitting in the rm with window closed (except the top one), can also feel the wind outside. tmr's the 1st day of september. ahem... it's SEPTEMBER! for those who still doesnt knw wad's goin on in september, pls refer to ur rite hand side on the screen now. hehehhehe.. i buay paisay....
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today's the 3rd day im on my own @ work. ytd din managed to hit target again. had my records written in red on the board again. boohoo. but the fact tt many others got theirs red too was a consolation. actually i shld not worry so much. im new, so they cant expect too much out of me. but the prob is, tog with me, there r another 2 newbies and 1 of them managed to hit target for both days. spoil mkt... in a way, i was affected lor. sure pple will compare btw the 3 of us since we entered at the same time. lucky the other gal also never hit target... but her performance still better than me. haii..
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but i felt much better after this colleague spoke to me. was telling her tt the red color demoralises me. then she sd she doesnt expect the red color to go away in another 4 mths time. then i was like "wah lau eh... so demoralising...". then she said it takes time to get the hang of everything and for newbies like us, it will most likely take 6 to 8 mths b4 we can really hit target. then i told her tt the other new guy can hit lei... then she said wad for compare? compare will only stress myself up. wad is the pt of doing everything so fast and managed to hit target but in the end the things were nt properly done and other pple had to "clear up"? most imptly is to do things properly so as not to create trouble for others. erm... is she implying tt the guy is not doing his work properly? anw, she ended off telling me nt to stress myself up and if im so hard on hitting target and so affected by the red color, i wont survive.
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i knw she's rite. there shldnt be comparison.. but.. given the competitive me... haii. it's really quite demoralising and stressing to see red everyday. time to work harder. time to get out of the red color.
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but the slacking side of me is saying " wad for? u r new, wad for try so hard? pple's expectations will only grow and grow and grow. if u perform so well nw, they will expect more out of u in future. so, don perform so well yet. and, the incentives will not come in until 6mths later whn ur cfmed. so relax and juz sit ard.. take it easy. not even one mth and alr stress by results? r u nuts??? "
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hahah.. the angel and the devil. lol~
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and the tuition centre.. they needed pple for the wkend. and i can only offer sundays. but then... the salary really quite pathetic lei. im reluctant to spend so many hours yet earning so little. but my ex-supervisor alr asked me many times and i kept rejecting. quite paisay to reject somemore. hmm... im free la.. but.. the pay... a real turnoff..

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