Monday, August 13, 2007

AfteR-ThOuGhTs

nothing much happened today. lol~ went to the hr @ raffles place for an one-day orientation. and.. i was late! missed the damn bus and waited for quite a while for the next bus to arrive. and, there was a jam! sooo irritating! in the end late for 10mins and the hr person called me up. diaoo.. lucky the orientation hadnt started when i arrive. briefing, play games, quite slack. and the whole thing ended at 5pm. wooHoo! tmr then will go to my office @ HDB hub.. so far.. no straight bus.. sian.. sian.. SIAN...! and i guess.. hell will start tmr..
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looking back, the whole process of securing a job was soo soo soo tedious and long. i remembered loitering alone in the cbd area, waiting to go for interviews. i remembered going to different places on one same day for interviews. i remembered pple offering me pathetic pays tt made me doubt my worth. i remembered how depressed some interviews left me. i remembered the struggle i went thru. i remembered the uncertainties and stress. i remembered consulting soooo many pple - frm colleagues, frens, family to professors. soo soo many things... there's only 1 word to describe - SCARY. i hope it will be v v long until the next time i have to go thru this process again. i sincerely sincerely hope so.
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and.. i must say.. throughout this whole process, i did not "perform" well. i was confused, i was indecisive, i couldnt make my own decisions, i was fickle, i had to ask sooo many pple for opinions.. all these simply show how incapable i was. like i wasnt in control of my life.
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but frm now on.. i will try. im in control. i will make my own decisions. i will be decisive. i can take care of myself. im fully capable of being in control. im strong. i can.
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juz some self-psychoing again.
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and today,i finally got my eye-brow professionally trimmed! ouch! :)

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