GroWinG Up

today is the last day of the june hols. nothing to do with me, doesnt affect me.... but somehow, happened to realise something out of it.

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was listening to the radio ytd and this gal called in and mentioned that she's rushing the holiday homework. then the deejay said in the past, during the hols, he'll also play during the early part of the hols and wait till the last min then cheong the homework. then they both agreed tt 'all students are like tt..'

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true. 谁何尝不是呢? in the past, when i was still a student, there's no planning at all. it doesnt matter how much homework there were, all can wait till last minute. it doesnt matter last min can finish or not, juz wait till last min, tt's it. but now, i know how to plan. FTT is in early July, but i have already started studying for it. becuz i know last min definitely cannot finish. i have learnt how to stagger things out, so tt things tt need to be done are not all sqz together till the v last min, but slowly completed bit by bit.

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when i was young, whenever i cannot remember the spelling words, i will get super worrried and start to cry. whenever i forget to bring something to school eg work books, i start to panic. whenever homework cannot be completed, i start to be stress. whenever i cannot understand wad is being taught, i start to get upset. whenever fren A is closer to fren B than me, i will feel tt fren B is snatching my frens....... it never occur to me tt i can talk and explain to the teachers, i can open my mouth and ask the teachers, i can reason with the teachers.... i can slowly take things one at a time.....and tt all are frens, nothing such as snatching my frens.....

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when i was young, i remembered making donation calls without consulting my parents and for the whole period of time, i was soo worried, unsure of how to fork out the money tt i have donated....

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if you ask me do i want to go back to being a child, i will say no. many envied being a child and hoped they can go back to being a child with nothing to worry abt. but for me.... i really don think so. i think for myself, i have more things to worry abt when i was a child than im now. being a child is too helpless. even forgetting bringing a book can cause anxiety. being a child is too vulnerable. even very small matter can also worry alot.

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i can only say tt i enjoy growing up. i enjoy the autonomous, i enjoy being able to make my own decisions, i enjoy having purchasing power and i enjoy knowing how to handle situations and emotions. i'm now possessing sooo many things tt i did not possess when i was a child. things tt bother me alot when i was a child became a piece of cake. juz like how the mole used to bother me.... now tt im older, juz $150, and my prob was solved.

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see wad i mean?

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im soo glad to be a grown-up. im so glad to feel the maturity in myself growing. many things come with age... and i truly thank myself for growing up ~

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