MoNey

i know money is a very very impt stuff. in fact, it is a very lethal power. double-edged sword, i should say. it can bring you plenty of happiness and satisfaction. but at the same time, it can hurt and break you. it causes pple to come together, yet at the same time, it causes pple to have conflicts and split-ups. how many times we saw in the news tt family members are fighting lawsuits because of money issues? that hk filthy rich woman who recently passed on.. she too fought in court with her father-in-law because of that big sum of inheritance, right? how many times we saw in the news tt family members/frens are killing each other because of money?? fathers and sons, family members - the same type of blood flows in their bodies, yet money is able to make them turn their back against each other. friends - the years of friendship cannot even stand against the temptation of money. husbands and wives - pple who are so intimate, who sleeps together every night, can also betray each other when it comes to money. so, why shld i expect so much out of a pure boy-girl relationship? why should i expect him to lend me his debit card just in case i met with emergencies when im overseas and i can have access to money? why should i think tt he'll trust me with his money? why should i think tt he'll let me use his money? i must be crazy. or should i say, im juz plain naive? thinking tt love will make everything work?

*

he doesnt understand y i always love to use money as a guage of how much he loves me and i think he never will because instead of trying to understand why, he simply smsed me "childish". so "childish" is all tt he can use to describe this tendency of mine. how sad. like wad i wrote in the v 1st sentence - money is v v impt. if someone is willing to trust me with his money, to let me have access to his money, doesnt it simply shows tt in tt person's heart, im soo much more impt than money? is this not the logic tt i've always think is correct? how can i rely/depend on someone who views money so much more impt than me? how can i rely/depend on someone who doesnt even trust me with his money? if one day, i need to borrow a large sum of money frm him, will he lend me? if one day, someone wanna rob us, will he grab his money and run and leave me to die? if one day he has to choose btw his money and me, will i be the second choice?

*

dramas always show those husbands giving the wives supplementary cards to spend. in reality, issit like tt? or such things only occur in dramas? i think it does happen cuz my bro-in-law gives a supp card to my sis. will he? maybe we are juz not in tt stage yet.

*

i know im contradictory. rite in the beginning i cited so many examples showing how money can destroy relationships. yet i still believe tt there will be someone who will trust me with his money. hahahaha... im so naive!

*

i cant help but feel hurt and disappointed. quoted frm my fren "expectation is the root of all heartaches" - I think i fully understand the meaning of this sentence le.