Depressed

it's depressing. 

so wrong to start the 1st post of the month w 'it's depressing'. 

but... it really is. 

the tooth that i had a root canal treatment done previously......... is giving me pain again........ 

went to a 2nd dentist yesterday to seek a 2nd opinion. 

according to him, from the xray he did, the root canal was done up properly. now if so, why pain again? and then he gave 2 possibility - 1) crack or 2) other canals within the tooth itself which are too small to be detected previously, and therefore, not treated. and the latter is considered not common and will happen only in 10% of the cases.

i was like... wtf??? why am i soo 'lucky' again???!

and then he said i will have to go to a specialist where there are more advanced equipment (and skills!!) that will more accurately find out the cause of the problem. 

well... i really dont now what to say anymore.... 

that series of tooth canal treatment (here, here, here and here) i had back then were already traumatising enough.. 

now, probably have to go thru all over again... 

or... maybe not... cuz, maybe beyond salvage already... and extraction is the only solution..... 

i really dont have a good feeling about this and though i know there's a possibility that i just will have to extract it altogether, im not prepared. 

not prepared for the fact that after going thru so much, i still have to extract it. not prepared for the gruelling process of having a tooth implant after that. not prepared for the cost involved with having a tooth implant.... 

i think i will breakdown if the specialist tells me that i will just have to take out the tooth..... 

seeing him later at 1.45pm. 

wish me good luck. 

i really am ultra depressed. 

=(