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interesting facilitor who bought us drinks and tidbits to 'celebrate'
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* and tt's my cert.. din know there'll be a cert too. maybe that's where the $600 goes to~
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actually, besides wad the course taught, there are also many other things which i realised only after attending the course. i realised.. i really do not know alot abt the banking industry. i realised.. im really like a little froggie in my own little well. i realised... there are sooo many pple whom i didnt know. i realised... i really didnt bother tt much.
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juz this afternn, during one of those chats.. this lady asked me 'who is your head?'. being the little froggie, i told her the name of my immediate head. then she said 'i mean who is in charge of ur division?'... then i cannot rem the name and i told her it's Mr so-and-so. then she said 'no, he's the sector head. i mean the division head.............................'
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(-_-"")
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i think im juz too embarrassed to admit that i actually cannot differentiate b/w sectors, divisons, departments and the blah blahhhh, and i actually do not have a damn idea who is in charge of wad!
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and it's amazing how when one name is popped, all the rest except me can acknowlegde.... seemed to me tt they all know who r the big-shots in the company. who is the head of wad, they also know... who is this, who is tt, they also know. suddenly, i feel that i really know nothing. but then, i also dont understand wad is the need of knowing so many things lorr...
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for me, a job is a job. i go there on time, i do wad is expected of me, i knock off at the time im supposed to and when the payday comes, i receive wad i deserve, tt's it. everything is vvv clear-cut to me. so long as i think i can take it, so long as my bosses and my colleagues are ok, so long as the pay justifies, im perfectly fine. y bother abt sooo many other issues?
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i think the main prob here is tt: wad others think is an issue, is not an issue to me.
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tt worries me.
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it either means tt im a super bo-chup person, or i dont know wad im doing at all. worse still, maybe it simply reflects tt i dont use my brain and think.
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haii. the only excuse i can give to consolate myself is the fact tt most of them are old-birds with >1yr experience in the company. so naturally, they'll know alot more things abt the company and industry than me. and wad's more, most of them r >25yrs old, which means they have been working for a few yrs already. it's only right for them to know much more than me who graduated 10mths back and who worked for only 9mths. right? right? right???
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but seriously, i cant bring myself to talk abt work with them. im so worried i'll make some senseless and silly comments. most of the time, i dont even have the slightest idea what their dept is dealing with, so i really dont dare to talk and make comments. haiii.....i guess it's time to read up more.
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haii. confused. i really feel soooo small in this big organisation. i feel so 'un-armed'.. i feel soo.. soo... soo dont know wad. i juz feel silly la. someone who doesnt know anything. feel soooo dummb ~~~~~
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