RaYous KeNna WhaCked

haiii. 

whacked my baby rayous one good time yesterday night. 

think it was the 1st time that i really hit him that hard. hit him on the hand. really quite hard, cuz my hand also feels painful.. and his little hand was all red after that. 

haiii.. 

but that was becuz he hit me first. well, he's been hitting people.. and we've been trying to tell him that it's not correct but to no avail... and.... he hit me ytd!!

wth. 

连老妈都敢打!!! 现在不教训他, 那要等几时?????

and so, i hit him real hard on the hand, hoping that will send a strong message across that he shall not hit pple again! 

o well. 

打在他身，痛在我心. 

and, it really breaks my heart when he hit me and pushes me away. 

so much so that i broke down crying! 

alamak, drama mama again. 

and now... looking back... i wonder how many times i had broke mum's heart back then, when i kept throwing my temper at her. 

haiiiii. 

really 当了人家的父母才知道.... 

and im really worried that i will become one abusive parent, given my short temper and impatient and intolerance to nonsense.. 

and i have already been warned, that kids will only get naughtier by the day... and i better learn how to manage..

OMG. 

but rayous is really v naughty now already. throwing tantrum when we left him alone. and when we finally carry him, he wants to climb around and touch everything around him. and he's been throwing items out of the cot and playpen etc etc etc.. 

haii. 

so difficult. should just let him be and wait for him to grow out of it? or should interfere and let him know we mean business alrady?

and i think MIL was sooo shocked and heartpain that i whacked him so hard ytd. haha.

parenting. 

so difficult.