NightMaRe

I had an extremely bad week last week.

was under the influence of some prescribed drugs which gave me extreme unhappiness.  and by extreme, i really mean extreme. i think i had never been soooooooo unhappy in my life before. unhappy for no apparent good reason.

and the whole episode turned to it's worse when i fell sick last friday. down with bad throat and fever. and last weekend gone by..... as if i was dead. i slept throughout the 2days. fever gone down and back, down and back. i had no appetite and all i could do was sleep.. sleep... and sleep.

i could do nothing. nothing. and i was sleeping... sleeping... and sleeping.. to 麻醉myself. i never knew i could sleep that much..

then was on mc on monday and tuesday....and of cuz, i stopped taking the drugs ever since i fell sick.

and i was sooooo praying for the 'aftermath' of the drug effect to end, as soon as possible. and everyday i woke up wanting to cry... dreading to go to work....i had no appetite, my sense of touch seems to lose it's sensitivty, my ears are muffed, whatever i eat seems to be bitter, i could not talk properly........  i wished i could just drop everything and go travel.... it is the festive season, but i was rotting like mad inside... it was just .... terrible.

of cuz, drug aside, i was also very stressed up with my new job scope and environment. i had no idea what the boss wants and i seriously do not know if i can deliver what he wants and live up to his (and everyone elses) expectations. he threw me many reports, which i make no sense of. there isnt really anyone i could ask. but even if there is, i dont know what to ask... urgh, it's a double H - Helpless and Hopeless.

and the situation was made worse, with mum's leg being injured in a cast, and i had to wake up much earlier than usual, and the household chores are greater than usual.

so everything just came at one go... i knew i could handle it better, if not for that shit drug!!! it seriously nearly cost me my life!

so, never under-estimate the effect of drugs. they can really kill!

im sooo glad im much better now. that week was really a nightmare. i had never felt sooo bad before. gosh.

hopefully tmr will be a good start. it's the festive season. i should enjoy! (though im still super worried about my job.... cuz i really got nothing to present to boss...... haiiiiiiii)

and, i finally got my new specs done! am soo happy!

my degree have increased by quite a bit... next thing to do is to get my new contact lens done... then i need not squint my eyes anymore!!! yes, my current lens were done many many years back and i cant see clearly with them now. need new pair!!!! looking forward to extreme clear vision! LOL ~