Bye Bye 2012

today is the last day of 2012. time to reflect on the past one year doing.....

there was a period of time whereby i was dying for 2012 to end soon, because something did not happen in 2012 and i was hoping it would happen in 2013. that should more or less tell you how my 2012 was huh? and now that it's really coming to an end.... i can only say 2012 had really been a very tough year.

it was a year where i started to have many doubts on myself. there were many unhappiness, many doubts on self-worthiness, self-questioning.... i started to lose faith in many things, and sad to say, that included myself. it really was a very difficult year.  

i started to wonder about many things... i was constantly at conflicts with myself.. i had many internal struggles.. and many self-questionings.... i was bitter and miserable, deep down.. and hidden behide that facade of mine.

that aside, i cant say 2012 had been a totally bad year. i had been given more opportunities at work. i still remb we went on a cruise in feb. after i came back from the cruise and back to work, i was informed to join the UAT team. then i was in the team until Aug, before i came back to join the mainsteam work. and in late nov, i was asked to take up a new role, and in dec, i started on a new role again.

there were many re-deployments that took place this whole year. being one of the youngest and the newest in the dept, i am really grateful that i wasnt being re-deployed and on top of that, so many opportunities were being given to me. 我知道这一切都不是偶然...背后一定有人在支持...我真心感激. and of cuz, i hope to 开花结果.... and get the results that i want.

2012 also gave me another family member - my little niece ya-ya. hubb proposed to me. our banquet and bridal shoot arrangements are settled. travel wise, there were cruise, malaysia, batam and goldcoast. so, it's not all that bad afterall, huh?

come 2013, i hope it will be a better year. it should be a better year.

resolutions never really get fulfilled, but nonetheless, i still want to make my resolutions for this year. LOL.

i kidda stopped on my jogging regime, as apparently, instead of losing weight, i've been gaining weight these years. dont really see the point in continuing jogging. shall explore other options. i seriously need to lose some weight.

i hope to switch a job. i think i need to switch a job. i think it's time to move on and find a greener pasture elsewhere.

i hope to take a break. a break from work, a break from everything. i hope that after i tender, i could have a good 2mths break, before i start hunting for the greener pasture. a 2mths break, whereby i can just nua at home and do nothing. set my mind blank. spare myself. give myself more time.

i hope to give more love to the pple i love. 人生无take 2. 有些东西过了, 就没有了. 乘有的时候, 就要好好珍惜. you will never know when is the last time.

and that is also y i needed a break. there was one day, when i was on half-day leave, and i accomplished so many things that i wanted to do. that day seemed extremely long.  i realised that, if my time wasnt locked in working and being stuck in office, there were actually sooo many other things that i could do.

now think, how much time are we spending at work? for me, im stuck in office from 9am to 7pm. after work, it's alrady late. shopping centres will not wait for u. and u urself cant stay out late either, becuz tmr still has to work. and when it comes to wkend, sat will be spent resting and doing household chores. then u are only left with sunday. but the problem with sunday is - MONDAY HAS TO WORK AGAIN! then the whole cycle repeats itself.

see? i guess that is why time is passing soooooo fast. if i dont have to work, time will probably pass slower.

but sad to say, not everyone has the luxury to stop work totally. i am no exception. but i guess, being away from work for half a year should be no issue. 2mths break, and another 4mths to hunt down a greener pasture. sounds do-able, right?

i really need more time for myself. to just do things that i want to do, i like to do, i think is worth to do....

i want to love myself more. to rest more. to have more time. to take good care. to have less stress. to be more happy. to think less. to worry less. to contemplate less. to procrastinate less. to be more decisive. and just do it!

lastly, to remind myself, and everyone...

2013 will be a good year. for you and me. for everyone.

cheers!!!