@ WorK

something happened at work and i felt v bad abt it. there's this colleague who joined in may. i was the one who coached him when he 1st came. during the coaching period, i already find him quite presumptuous. apparently he likes to assume alot and not really following wad im passing down to him. tt time already not v happy with him, but it's wasnt tt bad until some time later...

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beginning he joined us for lunch. but along the way, he made so many of us unhappy with his silly comments, tt we decided to exclude him frm our lunch group. we'll go off silently 5mins b4 time and leave him behind. eventually, he also gave up and now he lunches alone.

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along the way, i start to dislike him more and more. besides his insensitive comments, i find him v wayang and a darn slacker. also, he forgets many things which i've told him and he'll claim he doesnt know and tt puts a v bad light on me cuz pple will think tt i did not teach him properly. i was really frustruated at 1 pt of time cuz i feel so unjustified! but i guess, ultimately, it was this conflict of interests tt caused me to dislike him so much. apparently, im assigned to do a difficult portfolio which will affect my productivity but he's not. i start to feel the unjustice because we r both of the same rank, so y am i made to kio sai and have to work doubly hard and fast in order to hit productivity while he can get the easy way out??

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also, i find him not a keen learner and is someone who will escape at every opportunity and who will think of the easiest (but not the correct) way to get out of trouble. i dont know if it's genuine unawareness or issit pure manipulations.... 是真的不懂? 还是扮猪吃老虎?

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our work nature requires teamwork and initiatives, if not it's easy to cause teammates to be kenna bombed by customers. and this colleague had caused us to be kenna bombed a few times. i remb dropping him a 'warning' email. i admit i was a little too much with tt email. hence, subsequently, whenever he commits a mistake, my email to him will always end with something like 'if u r unsure, feel free to chk with us'. however, he seldom check things out with me. i donnoe issit tt he doesnt like talking to me, or there's nothing tt he's unsure of, or he juz could not be bothered.

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up till some point in time, im sick of getting into trouble with customers because of his inability to follow up on the acc/s. i started cc-ing the bosses in my emails to him. intially the bosses did not act on it. until today......

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basically tt particuler acc was not properly followed up and tt caused me and another colleague, A, to be kenna bombed by customer. i referred the acc back to him and cc the bosses. then in btw there were the exchanges of emails but throughout everything, he doesnt appear to be apologetic at all. then colleague A 'exploded' and sent him a super harsh emai and cc the bosses. the email stunned me as well cuz the tone, the diction and the color choices were juz - HARSH.

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few mins after, the bosses asked me and him and colleague A to the meeting room. haii...

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bosses explained to him wad should have been done to the account and wad issues tt me and colleague A have ....

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throughout, he looked sooooo pathetic. almost like wanna cry liao. then he said in quivering tone 'i apologised to the 2 of you'... goshh... i really feel sooo bad.

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i didnt think things will get so big till the mgmt wants to talk to the 3 of us privately. i really did not mean it to turn out tt way.

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suddenly, i feel like a wicked witch, causing soo much embarrassement to someone who mite really be innocent and helpless (cuz everyone ostracises him!). it's not his fault tt mgmt made me do difficult stuff and not him... so y should i take it against him? true tt he did not follow up properly, but as his mentor, shouldnt i be more tolerant than all others?? shouldnt i render more help to him than all others should??

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suddenly i feel so small, so petty, so narrow-minded. i feel so wicked. i feel like a trouble-maker. i feel like a gossiper. i feel like a back-stabber. i feel like a politician in all these office politics.

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im sorry. i promise i will be nicer to him. i promise i will guide him along in all the ways i can. i promise i'll stop being prejudice. i promise i will be patient with him.

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but then, i always believe help should only be rendered to pple who need help and who ask for help.

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if he doesnt even bother to seek help, y should i so kpo and constantly chk with him if he's okay or not?

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okay, the devil side of me is working again.

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i feel so contradictory. but 1 thing's for sure, almost everyone of us ostracises him and he's juz 1 pathetic fellow. and... i always have this soft spot for the underdogs. o well.

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tt reminds me of sec sch. sec sch there was this malay gal whom the whole class ostracised as well. till the xtent tt the form teacher had to step-in and talk to us. i remb there was once during some talk when i sat nxt to her. she was on my right and i was sitting in a manner tt my body tilted slightly to the left and after tt, the teacher questioned y i had to do this to the gal... i was like.. man.... seated with body slightly tilted to the left also cannot??!

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haii...

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