Pregnancy - The Moment of Knowing

ok, as said previously, we planned for pregnancy immediately after marriage. of cuz, we did not conceive immediately. so we were just trying and waiting and yes, we did time the ovulation timing.

now, honestly i think our education system is not robust enough. or perhaps, it was taught during biology class in higher secondary/pre-u/uni, in which i was never a bio student. but i dont remember being taught at all, that in order to get pregnant, u actually have to meet the ovulation period! if you are not in the ovulation period, then likely you will not succeed in conceiving. what the hell? how come no one told me that at all? so i was in the blind all these while, thinking that pregnancy can and will happen anytime with intercourse. wtf?

ok anyway, we were trying. and month by month, i will update hubb simply by telling him whether the auntie came or not. so came the month, whereby i told him 'tada, we failed and gotta try harder again, cuz my auntie is coming'. yup. i honestly tot my auntie was coming, because like every other months, there were streaks of blood already.

and so, i tot it was another failed month. until..... the actual auntie never really came. it was always just small streaks of blood. hubb was saying, maybe we succeeded already and kept suggesting that we buy the test-kits, but i kept telling him it was not possible becuz those blood were obviously signs of auntie coming!! 

and.. it really wasnt until my breasts started to get sore, that i started to doubt about the auntie and yes, maybe we had already succeeded. 

so, off we went to watsons to get the test-kits. we bought 2 clear-blue. then went home and try. and... the lines started to form... one line formed first, and slowly, the 2nd line started forming too. so....... it's positive!! 

yes, we tried both kits!!

i tell you, the moment, was not happy nor sad. rather, it's like a state of disbelief and questioning. it's like -- 'omg, is this for real? how huh??'. 

yes, despite wanting and being ready, when we really learnt about it, this was the reaction i had! it really was a moment of 'oh no... how??????'

and really, we did not know how. i did not tell my mum or sis. somehow, i just didnt want to tell anyone about it. we knew we needed to consult a doctor - but will a GP do? probably not. so we on the computer and started searching for O&G. and i tell you, apparently, NO O&G works on a sunday! yeah, 9 nov was a sunday and no one was available to see me.. =(

so we had to wait till monday before we can call and find a gyane to consult. meanwhile, it continued to be a state of disbelief plus a pinch of worrisome and a tinge of anxiety. it really wasnt happy or excitement. i also wonder why i werent all that happy in knowing. lol. and hubb wasnt that happy too. he was quite cool about it i remb, not really the kind of happiness and wow-ness which i was expecting. 

and, believe it or not, we went ahead to buy a third kit to test again! this time we tried a different brand - the guardian brand. lol. and yes, it's still positive =)

**** to be continued****