if i take a time review of my life so far, im definitely a 中规中矩 person - i will define myself as one who does not deviate too much from the norms of life. im never exceptionally good, nor am i exceptionally bad. i completed my pri/sec/pre-u/uni studies. ive gotten a decent job. then i've got my house. then i got hitched. and the only right thing to do next, is to have babies! so, my life has always been within norm, and having babies or not has never really been a question. Rather, it's just natural to me.
yes, im a pro-babies person.
there are people around me who are 'anti-babies' for all kinds of reasons. some will say it's a terrible world, why bring more lives here to suffer. some will say they dont even have enough for their own, how to provide for babies. some will say they enjoy the freedom and spending power and couple-ship and are not going to have to give up any of that.. blah blah blah...
sure, very valid reasons. but to me, husband and wife will always be just a couple, never a 'family'. and the crux of the whole issue is, there is a time essence. if you missed the time frame, u missed the time frame. there is no way u can turn back the clock and say that 'yes, i want to have a baby now!'.
you get what i mean?
so back to the question posted - 'when do you know that it's time for a baby?' 1st thing 1st, u have to determine if you want babies or not. being me who do not deviate in life, yes, i know i want babies. and so is hubb. good, the consensus reached. so when?
yes. immediately. to be honest, we tried immediately after marriage.
afterall, we had been in courtship for 10yrs before we tie the knot. we had travelled to many places and had spent more than enough time being a couple. needing 二人世界 is not an excuse for us. and, i have heard of so many cases where couples tried for a very long period of time before they conceived. so... since we do want children, why delay?
and we even had a plan. we told ourselves that we will try for a year. if still no results within a year, we will consult a doctor.
but luckily for us, on 9 nov, we tested, and it was positive!!!
這絕對不是理所當然。孩子是上天賜的禮物。感謝上天肯賜給我們。
but despite being a pro-babies person, there is a word of advice - never stress yourself into the decision of having a baby. do it when and ONLY when you are ready and when you really want. DO NOT be stressed by anyone or anything. ultimately, this is a big decision which will really change your life for good. in fact, from the moment you know you have conceived, life has already changed. and you will be the one going through it - physically, mentally, financially - not anybody else. so, really really do not let anyone psycho u into having a baby. it will be a turmoil and you will not be able to come to terms with the sacrifices you have to make, if you are not even ready.
and of cuz, when you eventually do conceived, do not blame anyone else except yourself and your spouse. because it is a decision made b/w the 2 (hopefully!) of you and you just have to bear responsible for it. if you are not ready, then it's really just too bad.
yup. so, creating lives is never a easy decision. be ready!!
*** to be continued ***
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